Sunday, 3 January 2016

2016 \\ Reflections

This time last year I wrote a post about the changes I wanted to make in 2015. I like looking back at the things I've achieved over the year and also I have loads to look forward to in the upcoming year.

In 2015 I became myself, I'm still not 100% there but I am closer. I started to understand my place in the world and the way that I can impact the world in a positive way. I am just one person but that is not something that will hold me back. I have met so many passionate people this year, people who want to change the world and not for selfish reasons. I have grown deeper and more mature in my faith. I have friends that support and push me to grow closer to God and to be the person He says I am. My ideas for my future are changing and I am not sure what I definitely want to do but that's not important. I am studying things I am interested in and I love the town I study in. I travelled to new places and really went out of my comfort zone. I was stubborn and this negative trait helped me do incredible things. It was also a really hard year at times. My mental health was the worst it has been since I hit the bottom a few years ago. I am naive and worried about admitting I have mental health problems. But I know they aren't my fault and that so many people face the same battles that I do. It got so bad that I jeopardised my studies but I got around it whilst nearly driving myself into the ground. I analysed my relationships and realised that some people are toxic and that I have no responsibility to be there for them. Even if they are your mother.

In 2016 I turn twenty-one. I also start my third year of university and my grades will count towards my degree. 2016 is the year it all gets serious and I am scared but excited. Later this month I am going to Calais to help in a refugee camp. I understand that donating money may be more helpful but I want to go there to show them that they are loved and respected. I am visiting Rome with my best friend and getting to see all the important monuments I have studied over the past year. I move into a new house with someone who loves the same things as I do. I am going to write more, both here and poetry. I will sing more and not care if I am not in tune. I will continue to build on my relationship with God and let it shape me into a better woman. I am going to put effort into my relationships because I really do have amazing friends. I might finally become organised and stop procrastinating. I am going to focus on my mental health and recognise when it's bad again. I am going to admit I am not perfect and enjoy my imperfect life.

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